The Cracked-out Barrel

 

 

If you want to be confused to whether you walked into a weird thrift store or an incredibly old-fashioned restaurant, then you should head down to a Cracker Barrel. Never in my life have I been so confused by a restaurant’s concept and all-around vibe. When you first enter, you feel like you’re in a shitty thrift shop that hasn’t sold anything in 50 years. If a thrift shop and year-round Christmas store had a child, it would be that shop. They claim that they are a family oriented and old school country style restuarant, but I would not to be a part of that family. From the decore to the food, I was not a fan of any of it. Unless you like your biscuits as dry as sandpaper and your hash browns as cold as ice, do not waste your money or time here. To this day I cannot understand why this resturant has so many loyal customers who love it. The server who took care of us that day made it a little too obvious that she hated her job and put no care into any task. Just because you’re going for a country esque style resturant dosen’t mean you shouldn’t hold yourself to high cleaning standards. I feared what the kitchen would look like based on the condition of the floor and surrounding tables. I had nightmares for weeks about their hashbrown casserole. The casserole would chase me in my dreams. Mushy over cooked potaotes, government cheese (the worst quality fake cheese you can get your hands on), and the essence of over chopped parsley. It looked and smelled like throw up. When it came to the breakfast sandwich I had ordered, I instantly regretted it the second I saw it in my server's hand. I was perplexed by how unappetizing it looked. Somehow it looked dry and soggy at the same time. I could sense it was going to be absolutely disgusting. I was looking for the cameras around me because I thought I was on a prank show. The sausage patty, which was overcooked to shit, was significantly smaller than the bread or egg accompanying it on the sandwich. I have been to both ends of the spectrum of food. From extreme fine dining to mom-and-pop diners, I’ve eaten it all. I don’t look for insane skill. I look for flavor, which none of this food had. The sandwich ratios were completely off, like everything about Cracker Barrel. I’d rather eat crackers and barrels than dine at Cracker Barrel again.